


I Am Become Death

by UnbentLois



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel (Comics), Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Implied Relationships, Implied/Referenced Torture, Spy Natasha Romanov
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-24
Updated: 2014-08-24
Packaged: 2018-02-14 11:33:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2190150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnbentLois/pseuds/UnbentLois
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Then again, she reached deep into the depth of her memory and found the glimmer of one, the conversation that resonated forward into her thought. These cuffs, this chair, that heavenly light; the Winter Soldier was contained here. She could never break from these, not ever. Even though she was injected with some sort of serum in the start of her training, she was never as strong as he or the one in the spangly outfit were. She was female, dainty and small, reliable for hiding and recovering in the dark. She was hard to hit, too quick to be shot at it, too smart for the other’s mission to be successful. A hot pain seared her flesh and she finally let go of the sheer call of a banshee, all fight draining from her limbs as she gave up. The burn on her hand sizzled and her skin was bright as the red of the Republic’s flag. Her breath was loud and labored, steaming in the cold, dank air of the cellar that she was in."</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Am Become Death

**Author's Note:**

> Okay this is just a ficlet really. I'm probably not gonna go anywhere with this, as I wrote it for an rp site because I frequently play Natalia. I thought I did well on it. Suck a dick if you think I didn't.

“Doklad missii.” _Mission report._

 

“Pyat tseli.” _Five targets._ “Neytralizovannyy.” _Neutralized._

 

Dry mouth made her cough ragged, burning fluid from her lungs, the evidence from a long winter and a sudden seasonal change while transport to country. She couldn’t see, the room was too dark and the light that blinded her eyes was heavenly. It was almost mesmerizing, the way the rays were split by dust or a piece of glass, or the way they reflected off the mirror coated lenses of her sunglasses on the table. There were people in the room, maybe five, six; she could feel them there. The stench of political inflation was disgusting. It filled her nose and made her reel into the metal dental chair, wrists bound by steel cuffs that cut her porcelain skin. A silent screamed filled her mouth and she bit her already chapped and bleeding lip, struggling in any way to see if there was weakness.

 

Then again, she reached deep into the depth of her memory and found the glimmer of one, the conversation that resonated forward into her thought. These cuffs, this chair, that heavenly light; the Winter Soldier was contained here. She could never break from these, not ever. Even though she was injected with some sort of serum in the start of her training, she was never as strong as he or the one in the spangly outfit were. She was female, dainty and small, reliable for hiding and recovering in the dark. She was hard to hit, too quick to be shot at it, too smart for the other’s mission to be successful. A hot pain seared her flesh and she finally let go of the sheer call of a banshee, all fight draining from her limbs as she gave up. The burn on her hand sizzled and her skin was bright as the red of the Republic’s flag. Her breath was loud and labored, steaming in the cold, dank air of the cellar that she was in.

 

“Vyklyuchite svet.” _Turn off the light._ The world went dark and she squeezed her eyes closed hard enough to cause a spastic light show behind her eyelids. Once her pupils widened enough to take in the little stray rays of filtered light, she could make out the shapes that hung in the shadows. She couldn’t recognize the faces, everything was blank as she tried to remember. Could she remember? She didn’t know. She knew nothing that was around her. Her mind felt as though it was under enough strain, that it was already broken and trained to do nothing but what they say, and she had no choice. Cold water trickled down her hand and cooled the burn, small male wrapping it in burn cream and gauze. She gazed down at it from the best of her ability, squinting to make out the white fabric that covered it. The relief from the sting was euphoric and she reveled in that moment before dragging her gaze to the man that stood closest. As the woman of the room, it was her duty to recognize the man and pay her respects. She kept her gaze just short from his covered eyes, shoulders relaxing back as she realized that she had no power here.

 

“Oni znayut.” _They know._ “Vy uspeshno zavershili, no vse zhe vy ne smogli.” _You completed it successfully, but yet you failed._

 

“Sluzhba Vneshney Razvedki ne ponimayet infil’tratsii.” _The Foreign Intelligence Service doesn’t understand infiltration._ “Oni znayut moya zapisku.” _They know my memo._ She wanted to spit at them, oh she wanted to spit at them so bad. She couldn’t suffer another burn, she was already shot up and scarred. Her teeth ground into each other and she internally winced at the sudden pain that shot up her jaw and into her temple. The wounds on the young family would immediately trace back to a Widow’s Bite, the cartridges were rather signature. They didn’t give her a choice. She had to do the mission. Her pistol was lost somewhere in that arrogant billionaire’s tower and she left as soundlessly as she could. This was eight months long in the process and now she was drawn out. She had to make quick plans, something to fall back on and confuse the world. Release the sex tape, cancel whatever arrangement they had made, kill the ones she was supposed to kill off one at a time without tipping off that it was her. This wasn’t the case and she panicked, did what she was trained to do and just let it all go.

 

She could vaguely remember coming back to the cold country, but she also remembers being unconscious for the rest of it. They called her Black Widow, but she wasn’t sure of her actual name. There was a voice in the background that had called her Natalia but she soon had forgotten that, too. The environment was not what her fingers last touched. It was metal and grey and cold, stiff and unmoving in its ways. Her fingers had once felt soft satin dresses and silk tapestries that hung in massive rooms with windows that opened and allowed a private visitor in at night. They took her, though. They punished her for that happiness. She could barely remember who she was, her identity was blurred and her personal development was halted. They filled her with training by the same person who gave her happiness, told him that he was not allowed to do anything with her except make her a killer. So he did. He rewrote her once again, broke her, built her back up. The Black Widow was once again a functional piece in the communist machine towards “the greater good.”

 

The SVR had their top spy infiltrate the enemy. Extract information, weave her web of lies into the already dysfunctional group of the Ultimates. She did that. Eighty six years, she was just a part of the plan. She was a homewrecker, a killer, a liar, a businesswoman, and an intelligent being who was highly specialized. She did her best as a woman with looks that flaunted her already hourglass figure and managed to become intimate with the more intelligent of the bunch, albeit he was a bit of an asshole. She never genuinely loved him, as there was that doting figure in the back of her mind that she could never always seem to bring to front. It was arranged after a short while for them to become a married couple, something she truly dreaded and wanted nothing more than to break and ruin the mission. Though the web was weaved intricately and held strong for the time that the mission was going well, she still had her doubts about herself. She allowed herself to make friends, and the one with the patriotic spandex was someone she respected. There was nothing true about her, all she was were lies and dishonesty. She found herself trusting him, breaking character here and there, and she figured he would’ve come up with the truth in some time. She figured this was why they pulled her and stopped the mission. She was supposed to kill family slowly, and then eliminate them. They knew how she killed though, with silent mastery of killing and electricity as her best friend. She couldn’t hide the fact that she murdered another assassin’s family, and she couldn’t just make it seem as though the engagement was going to last. The sex tape was for his enjoyment, not for her own. If he didn’t want it to be seen, then he shouldn’t have suggested it one night. All she did was comply, till she had to take the situation into her own hands.

 

As she told the report from what she had managed to do in eight months, seemingly irritated footsteps left the room and ran explosively up the stairs. She paid no attention to this, assuming it wasn’t someone she knew. The men in the room were silent, and she was taken from the chair and carted to a small apartment up the same stairs those angry feet went up. Her hands were clasped together and her elbows were held out as though she had wings. The grip was tight on her supple skin and she squirmed to get more comfortable for the time being. The SVR had to keep her hidden, keep her quiet and trained until they could figure out their next move. She knew this was her fate, this cold room with barely any life to it. They gave her less than what she originally had, though she was of high value to them and their success. The white painted walls and black linoleum floor wasn’t impressive, and the hard bed and not exactly functioning kitchen was even less of a surprise. She took this as her punishment, she had failed to be successful because she allowed herself to be vulnerable, and so she was burned and scorned and put into a room only to await the electroshock therapy that was applied to her brain. They made her forget, just as they made him forget. She only did as she were told, just as he did.


End file.
